Recon: HOLE IN THE WALL BURGER JOINT

Los Angeles, CA


The Canuck and I were starving come lunchtime Saturday, and I suggested a westside place, I'd been looking to try for a while- Hole in the Wall Burger Joint. It's tucked away off Santa Monica Blvd in a strip mall (sort of) behind the Winchell's Donuts. It looks like a junkyard dive from a cult classic movie. The front is painted to look like rusty metal sheeting and there's a neon sign that says 'BURGERS' over the door. Inside, it felt like a tiny taco shop, or a small midwestern mom & pop diner. Much like The Counter, you fill out you own menu, picking meat, bun, toppings, extras and sides. The menu looked good and the buns on the counter by the register looked tasty. I ordered a beef patty, with an original bun, onion mayo, tomato cheddar and bacon. The Canuck went for the beef patty and original bun as well, but switched it up with chipotle mayo, pepperjack cheese, bacon, lettuce and tomato. We both ordered the kennebec fries (we could have easily shared one order.)

At first, we were excited. Food came out in brown paper bags, the burgs were huge, wrapped in white wax paper and the fries were in their own little sleeves. We took our first bites and kept going up to maybe five bites and then we looked at each other.  "I'm not so into this." We were so hungry initially that we weren't really assessing, but as our hunger pains abated, our more discerning pallets took charge. The burg's were hearty and homestyle, but the plain ingredients lacked flavor and the large buns were overpowering. It felt like a ground beef sandwich, not a cheeseburger.  

The pepperjack on the Canuck's burger was overpowering the bacon. I think the meat and bun were just so big and plain that you couldn't taste the condiments. On top of that, the meat was juicy/greasy and dripping out of our hands. The one quality I did appreciate however, is that the cheese was on the bottom of the burg, between meat and bottom bun. It served as a protective layer to keep that excessive juice from creating a soggy mess.  

Note the cheese barrier!

Now for a redemptive paragraph: The fries were amazing. Just absolutely delicious. Crisp, salty, excellent flavor. And they offer three dipping sauces. The first is their homemade ketchup with crushed tomatos and garlic. The second is regular boring ketchup. The third, and my favorite, is a ranch dip made with sour cream, mayo, onion, dill, parsley, lemon juice, dijon and salt and pepper. I could not stop dipping the fries in it. The Canuck has more willpower than I do and was able to stop when he got full, but I kept going.  I wanted to bottle the ranch and hoard it, and then put it on everything I eat year round.

Magical Ranch Dip

They serve soda in cans which added to its dive feel. The inside was a little claustrophobic to me so we sat out front in the sun and fought off some pigeons. For the two of us, the total was nearly $30 and after tasting the burgs its definitely overpriced and not worth the cost. Oh, and by the way, its CASH ONLY. If you are craving a proper french fry, or you have a naked salad that needs dressing, this is the place to be.  

Recon: FIVE GUYS

San Diego, CA


The east coast staple has finally hit the west coast.

I went down to San Diego last weekend, where my family was eager to take me to Five Guys, a burger joint they already held in high esteem. Tucked into the revamped Liberty Station in Point Loma, Five Guys has a spacious layout covered in white and red tiles with sacks of potatoes stacked around.  At first I thought there might be some construction still going on, and then I realized the potatoes are part of the décor.  The menu is simple enough, with less than 12 burger, hot dog or sandwich options, and all toppings are included in the price of the burger. All patties are cooked well done. There’s a little hanging chalkboard that tells you where the potatoes are from- that day’s hailed from Rich Lance Farms in Blackfoot, Idaho.  At the counter where you order there’s a bin of peanuts and you get to scoop some out to snack on while you wait for your burger.

We all opted for the bacon cheeseburger (what a family!) but our toppings differed: I asked for mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, grilled onions, ketchup & mustard.  You can also have pickles, grilled mushrooms, relish, onions, jalapeno peppers, green peppers, A-1 sauce, barbeque sauce and/or hot sauce.  My sister was raving about the Cajun fries so we got orders of both.  Food comes out in slightly greasy brown paper bags, fries spilling out everywhere on everything. 

Great flavor in that first bite.  We all know I’m a huge fan of American cheese on a burger, and it was fantastic.  Bacon was thin-sliced and crisp.  This is by far the messiest burger I’ve had yet, but it had an excellent classic flavor. It will fall apart and you will lick your fingers. The bun is sweet and doughy and there’s a light crunch to the edges of the patty.  They put more than one slice of tomato on each burger, which made me happy. I felt like this wouldn’t have been so messy or fallen apart so quickly if the components had been stacked differently. Putting ketchup, mustard and mayo next to the grilled onions and tomatoes made for a slippery burg.  Even with the mess and constant reassembly, the taste was spot on.

The Cajun fries definitely brought the heat to the equation. My sister was all about them but the rest of us preferred the regular fries. They’re naturally cut and cooked in peanut oil, and while this might make them healthier, their uneven sizes meant they didn’t cook evenly. Smaller fries were perfectly crisp while longer fries were soft. All of them needed more salt. They offer ketchup and a few other Heinz products to dip your fries in, but I would have preferred a thousand island dip with a dash of mustard.  (I probably could have asked for the components and mixed a little thousand island at my table, but I think it should automatically be offered.)

Service was friendly and fast. Their walls are covered in reviews, praise and awards. It’s definitely an all ages joint. Price is around $10 per person if you get a drink, which consisted of the usual fountain beverages –including my BFF Coke Zero- and bottled water. When the food came we got quiet- which means we were gobbling it up.  Anytime I am craving a quick, classic burger I will definitely think of Five Guys. Like right now…