RECON: HAMBURGER HABIT

West Los Angeles, CA

After two horrible missteps at Cafe 50's and Patrick's Roadhouse (never again!) the Canuck and I ventured over to Hamburger Habit, which claims to be the best hamburger in LA. Seriously, there are signs all over the mini mall its in, touting the radios station that crowned them. The cashier who handled our order was sassy and quick with the wit, but his accent threw me off to the point that he might have considered me retarded. The vibe of the place was kind of a run down old school diner. They had a lot of coke memorabilia, a bar height counter running around the edge of the restaurant, and shiny red bar stools cemented evenly into the floor. The other patrons were young dudes who looked like they belonged in Half Baked.

The Canuck ordered The Works, which has chili, shredded cheese, lettuce, tomato and pickles.  I ordered The Big Scene which has dressing, lettuce, tomato and pickles. (The burger titles and their ingredients just didn't match.)  I ended up adding cheese - which the guy called cheddar, but it was American - and adding bacon and grilled onions. I would also like to say that paying more than a dollar for add-ons at a dive-y restaurant pisses me off. Bacon and avocados aren't that expensive. He wrote the orders on egg-crate plates and passed them over to the grill. Then we ordered chili cheese fries, a diet coke and a chocolate shake.  Spoiler Alert! The shake was the best part of the meal.

I couldn't find the bacon in my burger, stupidly, I thought oh, it must be in there somewhere, but no, so I got shafted right off the bat. And without texture, its not a great burger. The patty had a nice char, and grilled onions are always delicious, but it just got all gooey. I am going to admit something here and confess that I've had Del Taco chili cheese fries on more than one occasion, and the chili cheese fries at Habit had all the same flavors. And to top off all the (insert wah-wah sound effect here) elements of the meal, the diet coke was caffeine free. Where I come from, that just ain't right.

BUT the chocolate shake was absolutely delicious. It was thick, and had a dash of chocolate syrup on top and it made me happy on the inside.

Hunger pangs satisfied, but not wowed.  For $22, you might as well go wild at In N Out.

Recon: THE LONGHORN

San Diego, CA


Last Saturday I traveled across the space-time continuum to a burger joint called The Longhorn. 

With Texas cattle horns, cowboy relics, and old beer posters lining the walls, it felt like a lonely trucker’s outpost along some county line with one sweet but over-worked waitress, the usual old man watching football and bundled up men hunkered down over the bar hiding from the weather.  One dirty window let in dim light, but the wood paneling crowded it out and the steam from the grill took care of the rest.

Menu’s simple enough, my brother and I split the bacon burger and added American cheese, and opted for the chili cheese fries- a dish I enjoy immensely but haven’t yet encountered on this blog.  Marie chose a bison burger with mushrooms and provolone and my Dad opted for the bacon burger with cheddar cheese.  They shared regular fries. 

Fries came out first, huge portions.  Chili was good- exactly what you’d expect .  Fries were crispy, which we loved, but Marie not so much.  All the fix-ins, so to speak, rest at the end of the table so it was a mad dash for ketchup, mustard and mayo- my favorite ingredients in a sauce for fries and burgers.  Chopped onions came in their own side cup, gotta keep your options open I guess.

 Burgers came out right after.  Open faced, toppings on the side of the plate.  Bacon was thick and crisp, our waitress was kind enough to cut the burg in half for us (You are probably wondering why I needed to share a burger, which usually is not my style: the night before we went to the Red Fox Room to celebrate my birthday and I ate a giant steak, baked potato, salad, garlic bread and carrot cake.  Needless to say, my appetite had been satiated 5 times over and retreated to recuperate!)  I instantly set about putting the delicious aforementioned sauce on my burg, a few white onion rings and the tomato slices.  I skipped the lettuce.  This was a classic American burger. The best word to describe it is dependable- hasn’t changed since the first one they made when the joint opened.  Marie wasn’t too pleased with her mushrooms- turns out they were canned, so I’d avoid them if you are a mushroom person.  But the meat was good, bacon flavorful and tableside sauce is always a plus.

They have the usual array of fountain sodas and domestic beers. I would recommend The Longhorn to anyone looking to avoid the po-lice, to make a backroom deal of some sort, or if you want to reenact a bar fight from an 80's movie… but especially for those looking to time travel.